Nitter Natter

King Lear is something of a crank. A British crank. He likes to go on long, sort of boring, almost academically lazy rants on whatever pops into his head. When I say long, I mean like a good half an hour. The outgoing assistant warned me about this, but truly, there's nothing I can do to stop it. Even having my patent vacant, glazed-over expression of complete disinterest doesn't seem to work.

So far the rant topics have included:

• How people in America don't make any sense
  
• How our travel agents don't seem to understand how to reserve a hotel
  
• How Americans can't seem to get the mail system down - why can't I send something registered mail? (you can!)
  
• America sucks because I can't send my taxes in by courier
  
• Los Angeleans are the fakest, most evil people ever (ok, I can't argue with him on that one)
• My temporary apartment isn't a penthouse, it's only one bedroom
• One time I had to stay in a hotel room that faced another wall and it had no light and it was dark
  
• Kids in America get to have school buses and marching bands and in my day we walked to school and had no marching bands
  
• The people in the cafeteria are so inept that you have to explain every little detail about your order to them or they'll burn your toast
• In my day my town had only one movie theatre and we saw Papillon with Easy Rider and we liked it

Etc. I'm boring myself even typing this.