Out Of Town, Not Out Of My Hair

SS never ceases to amaze me in her selfishness. She left Friday for a trip to the UK and will be gone for ten days. After she'd left, a delivery of bribery cookies came in from a desperate record label (stuff like this comes in often - flowers, candies, even iPods). These cookies were the fresh, perishable kind, not the kind you can save. They looked awfully yummy. I called SS and said:

"These cookies came in, they are perishable, what would you like me to do with them?" *hint hint hint*
"Well, can you messenger them to me?"
"At the airport?"
"No, I guess that won't work. Well..."
(Just say it, say "why don't you just take them home and enjoy them with your significant other")
"Go ahead and put them in the refrigerator and I'll see if they are still good when I get back."

You selfish ho-beast. Seriously, the thought didn't even cross her mind to offer them to me.

So, I should be happy because she is gone to England and shouldn't bother me this week, right? WRONG. I came in to several messages from her and have been on the phone with her for such stupid reasons as, "They did not put me in room 909 which is my favorite room!" and "I want to know what my meal per diem is so I can know how much I'm going to have to fork out myself," and "You HAVE to change my seat going back, I CAN'T sit by the lavatory!!" I answer "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh," and then generally do nothing, because seriously, fuck you.

Better still, this morning the Office Services dudes came in and deposited a whole load of boxes at my desk. "What's this for?" says I. "Moving," says they. "Well, you don't expect ME to pack this place, right? I mean, this is YOUR job. I mean, you are Office Services. That's what you do. Right? ....right?" "Nope," says they, "you gotta pack it."

I called SS in her damn swanky British hotel room and I did it, friends, I said, "I'm sorry but I don't think I'm the person you're looking for. I'm not good at moving things. You'll have to find somebody else. I'd rather not." She came back with, "Oh, don't worry, we'll make the TEMP do it." "SS, I AM the temp." "Oh right, sorry, I meant the new girl. We'll make the new girl do it. I know you are better than that." "That's right, I really am. I can't do this."

I'm a little bit shocked at myself and very proud. Thank you, GDT! I'll be messengering you some fresh cookies today.