Son Of A Goat

The woman in the cubicle next to me in my current assignment talks to herself all day and pretty much narrates her day out loud. Below is a transcript of a couple of hours in one afternoon. What you don't get from this is the constant heavy sighing and monotone humming that is interspersed throughout.

Ok. So.
This, I’ll do this first?
Oh.
No.
Ohh, darn.
Son of a goat!
Crap.
There we go.
Ohhhhhh.
(typing) Um, thank you for your call at work…because…who did…
OK. You know what? I know. I changed my mind. We’re going to do two pages.
It’s at four, right? Four.
OK, um. I can do this. OK.
OH! Whoops! HMM!
I’m like what the heck?
That’s funny funny funny. Funny funny funny.
Uh oh. What the hell?
Oh I know why!
I gotta get started on the call for M---.
Oh come on.
I knew you were there.
Hmm! Perfect.
OH.
Oh.
I had it already.
What?
*Gasp* Son of a goat! Ouch.
OK.
One day, Alice. One day!
Let’s see what I’ve got. Whoops! Oh. Whoops! Oh.
…when I’ll return…the Monday…
OK. I haven’t told anybody that.
Well, what do you know.
OK, I’m not calling anymore tonight. Nope.
Oh shit. *gasp* Oh. Sorry.
No.
OK, now.
Oh boy. Tape.
What the hell? Ok. Of course.
Ok. Ok. HA! Oh my god.
…haven’t had it in years.
Um. What am I doing? Ok, if I go through…Oh. What appears…
OK. The 14th. One, two, three, four. Four people.
OK. April 28th. UGH! Um. Oops! No. No. Um. Oh.
OK. So, let’s see…
Oh. They didn’t take all my boxes. HAHAHAHAHA.
Oh, son of a goat.

Multiply times many hours over many days and I've got myself quite a show over here!

The Temp Must-Have Bring-Along Kit

I have been meaning for a long time to write down a list of things that as a temp can be very useful to bring along with you to an assignment.

1. Thumb drive with your own internet browser built in. Most peoples' computers are just chock full of horribleness. You do not want to be checking your email or inputting personal data on a machine that is crammed full of spyware. Also, a lot of studio computers don't give you administrative rights to install other browsers or programs like CCleaner. If you bring along your own thumb drive with something like Firefox Portable Edition on it, you can safely browse with your own settings and no one will be the wiser.
2. A book. Unfortunately, there will be days when you get to an assignment and no computer access is available to you. Don't rely on your phone for entertainment, it will die in a few hours. Bring a book or a notepad or a sketch pad or whatever it is that is important to you in the real world so you can have something to do while you're waiting for that phone to ring.
3. Food. As fun as it is to forage for food in your new desk and its environs (and yes, you absolutely should take and eat whatever you find), often there's not much to be had. I actually bring a whole lunchbag thingy with me complete with nuts, vitamins, good teas (the teas offered in offices are horrendous), fruit, etc. If you are going to be settling into a long run of a week or more, bring your own mug and water cup so you aren't wasting the paper and plastic crap they have in the break rooms.
4. Cleaning wipes. Dude, trust me on this. Have a set of some kind of pre-packaged alcohol swabs of some kind with you in your kit at all times. Usually the reason you have been brought in is because someone is out sick, which means they slobbered their illness all over their phone and computer before they left. SANITIZE, because you seriously can catch their sick. If you don't have any swabs on you, ask if there is a first aid kit nearby, they usually have them.
   
5. Butt pad for horrible chairs. You never know what you're going to get with this, but if you find you are placed in a torture chair, invest in a few ergonomic pieces to save yourself years of chiropractic visits (this is from experience). I have OFTEN been placed in jobs where the person is out for a few months due to back problems, only to find myself coming down with the same pains. Don't be afraid to change the setup when you get to a new space to accommodate your ergonomic needs.
6. Oh hell, just bring a whole backpack. You won't regret it. You can put all the aforementioned stuff in it and also, you know, bring home with you some items that you might pick up along the way, like free promo stuff - DVDs, CDs, whatever anyone offers you, just take it. You can always trade it in for credit at Amoeba.
   

Aeron Chairs and Aeron Knockoff Chairs

...are from Satan.

Hate you.

That is all.