31 March 2010

Son Of A Goat

The woman in the cubicle next to me in my current assignment talks to herself all day and pretty much narrates her day out loud. Below is a transcript of a couple of hours in one afternoon. What you don't get from this is the constant heavy sighing and monotone humming that is interspersed throughout.
Ok. So.
This, I’ll do this first?
Oh.
No.
Ohh, darn.
Son of a goat!
Crap.
There we go.
Ohhhhhh.
(typing) Um, thank you for your call at work…because…who did…
OK. You know what? I know. I changed my mind. We’re going to do two pages.
It’s at four, right? Four.
OK, um. I can do this. OK.
OH! Whoops! HMM!
I’m like what the heck?
That’s funny funny funny. Funny funny funny.
Uh oh. What the hell?
Oh I know why!
I gotta get started on the call for M---.
Oh come on.
I knew you were there.
Hmm! Perfect.
OH.
Oh.
I had it already.
What?
*Gasp* Son of a goat! Ouch.
OK.
One day, Alice. One day!
Let’s see what I’ve got. Whoops! Oh. Whoops! Oh.
…when I’ll return…the Monday…
OK. I haven’t told anybody that.
Well, what do you know.
OK, I’m not calling anymore tonight. Nope.
Oh shit. *gasp* Oh. Sorry.
No.
OK, now.
Oh boy. Tape.
What the hell? Ok. Of course.
Ok. Ok. HA! Oh my god.
…haven’t had it in years.
Um. What am I doing? Ok, if I go through…Oh. What appears…
OK. The 14th. One, two, three, four. Four people.
OK. April 28th. UGH! Um. Oops! No. No. Um. Oh.
OK. So, let’s see…
Oh. They didn’t take all my boxes. HAHAHAHAHA.
Oh, son of a goat.
Multiply times many hours over many days and I've got myself quite a show over here!

1 comment:

ashley said...

Loved this so hard.